Is It Worth It?

Note: I am writing this a lot for my own benefit, but I would love to share my thoughts with you.

That has to be the question I have been asking myself almost every day for the past month.  As most of you know, I work for a non-profit called Campus Crusade for Christ (Cru).  Since we're a non-profit we rely on the donations of individuals, businesses and churches to fund our ministries.  While some non-profits have a department that raises funds for the organization as a whole and pays it's employees that way, Campus Crusade is different.  Everyone in Cru reaches out to individuals and churches they know for their funding.

Last year, in order to start working in the Greater Northwest Regional office I had to raise enough support so that I would be able to work and have all of my monthly expenses paid.  This year isn't any different.  I have been spending my summer working on raising the support I need in order to continue working in the regional office, but this has been a slow, painful and emotion filled time.

So that begs the questions: Is it worth it?

Are the sleepless nights laying awake wondering where the rest of the funds are going to come from worth it?  What about the days where I feel like I have failed in my mission?  Are the fears of losing friends and causing strife between family worth raising the funds so I can continue serving the Lord full time?

My answer: YES!

I know that my job IS important.  I know that the Lord WILL provide the support I need.  I know that what I do makes an ETERNAL difference.  I can't think of anything that is more important than what I do and the difference it makes.  Why is what I do important?  I get to be a part of an international organization.  I get to help spread the good news of the Gospel not just in Portland, not just in Oregon, not just in the Greater Northwest, but all the way around the world.   

It is so much fun to see the Lord work all over.  I get to see 600+ students come to Cru Conference every year where they get to learn about serving the Lord for the first time and for their life time.  I get to talk with students about who Jesus is and what he has done for them.  I get to see students spend their summers completely dedicated to serving the Lord and share the gospel all over the world. 

So yeah, I'm pretty sure I have the BEST job and I love going to work every day.  I like being the support system to help Campus Staff spend their time on campus with students.  I like planning conferences and creating videos that can be a tool the Lord can use to draw students closer to Himself.  I just have to trust the Lord that the support raising process is worth the payoff of seeing all this happen, especially when I lose the sight why I do what I do.