I am slowly going crazy

 

I loved this show as a kid...this is kinda how I'm feeling right now!

I realized that I haven't posted anything in a REALLY long time!  Boy, that must mean I'm super busy with work, which is very true.  I've been so busy, in fact, that I have hardly had time to do important things like doing the dishes, cleaning my living room, and grocery shopping (I'm out of popcorn...gasp!).  Why have I been so busy?  Good question.  Here is a quick rundown of all the things I have been doing that has taken all of my time.

Pretty sure I was on my death bed...
Boy, I was pretty sick this past month!  I got a cold that wouldn't go away.  I even missed a day of work (which I never miss work) because I was just not feeling well.  But now, finally, I'm starting to feel better.  I'm able to breath again, not coughing all day, and haven't used any cold medicine since last Friday! Being sick just makes everything more difficult.

Designers Beware...
Over the past month or so I have been learning how to use the program Photoshop.  It's a very awesome, yet extremely complicated, program.  If you have ever attempted to use Photoshop without any training, you might understand how this could be very frustrating.  There are so many different buttons that do a whole wide range of different things.  While I would say that I'm much more skilled at Photoshop now, I would NOT say that I am proficient at Photoshop.  But I'm excited to continue to use it and learn more about graph design (something that when I was in High School I had actually thought about doing).

Worship...
I have been helping with two different worship groups; one with my church and one with PDXCru.  I was practicing every Tuesday night with my church group (playing the drums) and then Wednesday evenings leading worship for DWTNCRU (PDX Cru's weekly meeting) playing the guitar.  It had been a while since I had played my guitar and lead worship, but now that I'm back to playing on a consistent basis I'm feeling pretty awesome about it, and look forward to it every week.  We're seeing awesome things starting at DWTNCRU and I can't wait to see what God keeps doing.

Retreat from the city...
I got to be a part of the PDXCru fall retreat, leading worship.  It was fun to get out of the city and see something new and smell super fresh air!  I couldn't have asked for a more awesome way to spend my weekend (except for maybe Lucas coming).

Life in General...
Life has just been crazy.  My car has been broken into (which means I have trouble sleeping...gotta keep watch), we've gone to the pumpkin patch with Lucas' family, and my grandma came up to visit.  All in all, well besides the whole car thing, I've been busy, but it's all been worth it.

Although I have been too busy as well, I've now had to let some things go, which is good.  And I want to be able to spend more time with Lucas, the dogs and, most importantly, the Lord.

Here, There and Everywhere!

I know that a lot of the time when I talk about my job I end up talking about raising support.  It's just part of the deal when you work for a non-profit like Cru.  But it not just staff that needs to raise support.  My whole summer pretty much revolved around support raising.  It was pretty crazy. Here's a look into what my summer assignment was.

Officially this summer I was assigned to "Summer Project Operations."  What this means is that I was here to help out our various summer project operations directors by processing income, i.e. student support. Some people think that this sounded like the most boring job possible.  And if I told you that what I did was got the mail, opened it, recorded all the checks (scanning and entering into a spreadsheet) then mailed them to our world headquarters it might actually sound INCREDIBLY boring.  If it was for anything else it might have been, but it really wasn't. 

How is this tedious task of check wrangling not boring, you might ask?  Well, when you get to see how God provides for people who have the desire to serve Him, it brings joy.  It is something that is so hard to explain to someone who hasn't experienced support raising.  I've seen the Lord provide funds for students in weeks of beginning the process as well as the Lord leading people in a different direction.  It helps to remind me if I'm diligent in my support raising the Lord will provide.

So, whats so great about looking at all the support coming in for other people when I'm struggling to get the last bit for myself?  I got to see students go all over the world!  They did things that I can't do.  I'm in Portland, not in Australia, East Asia, the Middle East, or Costa Rica.  I'm in Oregon, not in Alaska, Tahoe, or Colorado.  But the students I interacted with were in all those places.  I got to see and hear about the Lord working ALL over the whole World!  Not many people get to experience that as part of their job. 

Matthew 28:19-20 says:

Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.

 I'm one person who has responsibilities here in Portland, but by serving as an income processor I was able to help fulfill part of the Great Commission.  It's such a blessing to be a part of something that big, something that huge, that name of Jesus got to go to so far.  It's awesome.

Would you like to be a part of something so far outside yourself that it feels so amazing to know that you just get to be a part of it?

Is It Worth It?

Note: I am writing this a lot for my own benefit, but I would love to share my thoughts with you.

That has to be the question I have been asking myself almost every day for the past month.  As most of you know, I work for a non-profit called Campus Crusade for Christ (Cru).  Since we're a non-profit we rely on the donations of individuals, businesses and churches to fund our ministries.  While some non-profits have a department that raises funds for the organization as a whole and pays it's employees that way, Campus Crusade is different.  Everyone in Cru reaches out to individuals and churches they know for their funding.

Last year, in order to start working in the Greater Northwest Regional office I had to raise enough support so that I would be able to work and have all of my monthly expenses paid.  This year isn't any different.  I have been spending my summer working on raising the support I need in order to continue working in the regional office, but this has been a slow, painful and emotion filled time.

So that begs the questions: Is it worth it?

Are the sleepless nights laying awake wondering where the rest of the funds are going to come from worth it?  What about the days where I feel like I have failed in my mission?  Are the fears of losing friends and causing strife between family worth raising the funds so I can continue serving the Lord full time?

My answer: YES!

I know that my job IS important.  I know that the Lord WILL provide the support I need.  I know that what I do makes an ETERNAL difference.  I can't think of anything that is more important than what I do and the difference it makes.  Why is what I do important?  I get to be a part of an international organization.  I get to help spread the good news of the Gospel not just in Portland, not just in Oregon, not just in the Greater Northwest, but all the way around the world.   

It is so much fun to see the Lord work all over.  I get to see 600+ students come to Cru Conference every year where they get to learn about serving the Lord for the first time and for their life time.  I get to talk with students about who Jesus is and what he has done for them.  I get to see students spend their summers completely dedicated to serving the Lord and share the gospel all over the world. 

So yeah, I'm pretty sure I have the BEST job and I love going to work every day.  I like being the support system to help Campus Staff spend their time on campus with students.  I like planning conferences and creating videos that can be a tool the Lord can use to draw students closer to Himself.  I just have to trust the Lord that the support raising process is worth the payoff of seeing all this happen, especially when I lose the sight why I do what I do.

Ice Cream Meltdown

Chances are you know me, if you don't, well, I'm sure you're starting to feel like you do if you read this often. If you do know me and we've shared a meal together in the last 4 years you know that it is always a production when I want to eat.  It's not by a choice or me just being picky; trust me, I used to be picky, I'm not anymore. I'm such a bear to eat a meal with because I have Celiacs Disease.

I can't believe that I haven't actually written about this much before, but I don't think I have.  I'm just thinking about it because for the first time in quite a while I realized that Lucas has never known me as a non-Celiac, and this week it became apparent. 

As I mentioned, I used to be picky.  I wouldn't eat so many things.  I hated (and still do for the most part) fish, egg plant and cooked mushrooms, for example.  But now there are things that I didn't use to like that I'm starting to enjoy simply because if I don't eat that, there's not a whole lot else I can eat like onions and cooked tomatoes.  But here is a story that made me feel like a terrible person, but at the same time I find quite humorous.

I asked Lucas to go to the store after he got a haircut.  He went to this place that we have been before that has an extensive gluten free section, which is awesome!  When he got home he started showing me some of the things that he had gotten for me, which included gluten free instant gravy mix! However, he also told me that he got me a surprise, but that I would have to wait until after dinner.  

I couldn't wait to see what he got.  We finished dinner and were watching TV for a bit when he said he was going to fix me my surprise but I had to close my eyes, which I did.  He came back in the living room and put something in my hand and when I opened my eyes I saw an ice cream cone.  

An ice cream cone

I looked at the cone and then I looked up at Lucas and said, "I can't eat ice cream cones." And he had a big grin on his face and said, "These are Gluten Free!"  I looked back at the cone and then back at him and said, "I don't like ice cream cones." 

In that moment I could see his heart sink.  Here was my husband trying to do something super sweet and super nice for me, and I couldn't even accept his gift with a happy heart because just I didn't like it.  He explained how when he saw them he figured I'd be really excited about it because I couldn't have had a cone in over 4 years now.  I apologized for hurting his feelings and explained how when I was little could never eat them fast enough and the cone was always soggy by the time I got to it and so I never wanted to eat it.  

I told him I would try it though.  But then, like a 3 year old, I had to ask how I'm supposed to eat it! I was a sticky mess after just a couple minutes.  But I ate it and the cone didn't taste half bad.  I realized after this happened that there was no way that Lucas would have ever known that I didn't like ice cream cones.  I'd never been able to eat them for as long as he knew me.  How could I expect him to know what I don't like.  He's not my family who has known for YEARS how much I dislike ice cream cones.  

But the ones we had weren't bad, so I'll have to try one again.  It's just helping me keep in perspective how little Lucas and I know about each other even after being married for a year-plus.  We get to keep learning new things about one another and grow together.  I'm excited for what else I learn about him and what he learns about me!

Has something like this ever happened to you before?

What is something awesome/weird that you just learned about someone you love?

Faith to fighting in less than a chapter

Tonight during my quiet time I read John 8.  I'm not sure if John's writing style is strange, the translation from the original language to English is awkward or if Jesus was just kind of hard to understand sometimes.  But reading tonight, my eyes seemed to open to a section of scripture that I don't really think I've ever paid attention to before.

John 8:31-59

Before this section of scripture Jesus is talking with the Pharisees (as usual) and through his conversation it says in verse 30, " Even as he spoke, many put their faith in him."  But Jesus then turns to these Jews who believe and start to really let them know what they'll learn when they follow him and how they'll be free.  The Jews, in return, reply that they are Abraham's descendants and were never slaves to begin with.


How often are we like these Jews who put their faith in what Jesus says, but then they think that they're all good because of the fact they are descendants of Abraham?  I think that I have fallen into this trap at times in my life.  I grew up in a Christian home, and sometimes I feel like I've got it all together simply because of the way I grew up, following rules and whatnot.  But I think I'm more like the Jews in this chapter than I want to realize.

I say I know how to live because I'm a part of my family, but Jesus calls us out saying, NO. You're living your life the way your "father," the devil, does. We're sinful people.  We're part of that group who was plotting to kill Jesus. But the blessing is the fact that we have these Jews' story to look at and learn from. They didn't understand what Jesus was saying but because we have their story in the Bible we're able to learn from what they did. How awesome is that!?

I encourage you to read John 8, the whole chapter, so you can get the whole context of what is going on around this dialog with Jesus and these Jews.  It's pretty amazing to see what happens over just the course of just one chapter.  They go from putting their faith in him to picking up stones to try and kill him. Crazy.

It's Like A Brick To My Face

“To the angel of the church in Sardis write:    These are the words of him who holds the seven spirits of God and the seven stars. I know your deeds; you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead." ~ Revelation 3:1

What a way to start a conference for the over 5,000 United States staff members of Campus Crusade for Christ!

I sat there in shock as Francis Chan began speaking to the staff gathered in Fort Collins, Colorado.  I made the over 1,000 mile trip really to just be there for three things:

1) Find out the new name of Campus Crusade for Christ.
2) Be there for the GNW Regional Day and hang out with the rest of the staff from the region.
3) Be a part of the 60th Anniversary of Campus Crusade for Christ.

Francis Chan Speaking

I never thought that I the speakers of the conference were going to speak straight to me.  I felt like there wasn't anyone else in the room as Chan started his talk.  With great amounts of gusto and passion he started to explain how he hardly ever writes notes about what he is going to speak on, but in this instance he did, then he felt God calling him to speak on something else.  What followed was close to one of the most convicting times I've felt in a while.

"I know your deeds; you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead."

I work for Campus Crusade for Christ.  When people hear that, I think they automatically think I have it all together, but I know the truth.  The vast majority of the time I can fake it and live off of the reputation of  Cru and skate by having people think I have it all together.  But that's when I realized, "Boy Katie, God really knows what's going on, inside."  I started thinking about how God is my job most days, and the last time I had a quite time was....to be honest, I couldn't tell you.

I was dead; spiritually apathetic and tired.  I've lived the Christian life since I was little, not wavering much in following all the rules. But as I listened to Francis Chan speak, what got to me even more than what he was saying was the passion he was saying it with.  It's been a long time since I have seen that kind of passion from a speaker.  His knowledge of God's Word struck me deep, hard and fast; "Why do I not know God's Word like that."  Chan spoke of God as someone who was close to him and someone he had a strong relationship with.  It seemed as though he knew God better than I know Lucas.  How can that be?

One of the things that Francis said was (I'm going to have to paraphrase), "Is God number one in your life, or IS God your life?  When God is just number one you can prioritize him."  It was like, as my friends were saying, a brick was thrown at my face!  I was just joking (and we all know at the root of a joke is a nugget of truth) with them saying how they were tied for third in my life. Lucas was second and God was number one.  Just the day before I was stating the God is just number one and not my whole life.

So what does this mean?  I'm still figuring that out.  I have been praying that the Lord will guide me on what it looks like to have Him be my whole life and not just number one.  For the first time I am feeling excited about diving into God's Word and learning about what he's teaching me.  Even yesterday I read in 2 Peter 1 where it's talking about how through His divine power have great promises that help us overcome the corruption of evil desires.  I read this and thought, "I need to find out what all these promises are the I've been given!" And I'm really excited about learning more what God's got in store for me!

Has God "thrown a brick at your face" recently?
How have you learned from your conviction?
Are you feeling closer to God because of it?

Road Trip!

I recently went on a trip with my parents down to visit family near San Diego, California.  We drove.  This, however, is not the first time we've driven down there, no, not by any stretch of the imagination.  In fact I can count the number of times I haven't driven down there on one hand...2, but I have been down there well over a hundred times I'm sure!

With that being said, it is 1,018 miles from Corvallis to San Diego, a drive time of about 16 hours and 30 minutes according to Google Maps directions.  My parents and I did it in one day, a long day, but one day, again, not the first time we've done that either.  But along the trip there are key things that I always remember, look for and reminisce about from when I was a kid.  I thought I'd share some of them with you, and maybe a funny story or two.

1) We always stop for gas in Grants Pass, Oregon.  When I was little we went to this gas station that was near the caveman in Grants Pass.  We switched gas stations several years ago, so it's been a very long time since I've seen the caveman, but I still remember what he looks like.  We got off on the exit that he stands at this trip, but I didn't see him.  Here is a picture of him that I found online though:

2) Just as you get into California, there is "The Rusty Dragon."  I don't remember when he showed up, but I don't really remember him from when I was really little (but then again I could have been sleeping, coloring, throwing up...you know, all those things little kids do in the car).  But now he's a highlight of my trip.  I always "check-in" at the rusty dragon on Foursquare as I drive by.  On my way down I didn't get to because I was actually driving (a problem I never had as a kid) but I was able to click this really blurry picture of him on our way home!  The rusty dragon has a rusty cow friend too...but he's near...

3) The State of Jefferson!  If you haven't heard about this, you should look at this: http://www.jeffersonstate.com/
It gives you all the information on the "State of Jefferson"

4) Did you know that the closest In-N-Out Burger on I-5 is in Redding California?  Well, it is.  This is a MUST STOP place on our trips to southern California.  I know exactly how to get there...oh man, I can taste the Protein style Double Double and fries just thinking about it!  Oh...and California now has a law where you have to post the calories for everything...not cool California, not cool.  I didn't want to know how many calories are in a Double Double! This shot isn't from the one in Redding, but from the In-N-Out in Kettleman City, where we ate dinner.  Pretty awesome shot for a cell phone if you ask me!

5) I was born in California, did you know that?  Yep, Sacramento!  Woohoo!  Well, here's a funny story for you.  When I was little I wanted to be a spy, why, I don't know, but I did.  I had a pair of Foster Grant sunglasses that were black with a little red FG on the ear piece that was a circle.  They were my "super special sunglasses" and I would pretend that I could shoot lasers from my sunglasses if I pushed the little red "button" and could save the world...my target:

The "spaceship" that landed in Sacramento, also known as, the giant Sacramento Water Tower just off I-5.  This was always my target of choice.  Even to this day, as I drive by I have the secret urge to shoot down the aliens that have landed...and yes, this was before I ever saw Men In Black.

6) The Grapevine and all the wonders of the LA area.  I always look for Magic Mountain, San Dimas, Disneyland, and when I was really little I tried to keep a tally of all the palm trees...that was impossible, but I still tried. I would sing "I heard it through the grapevine" as we would drive through the mountains on our way.  But Lyons Ave In-N-Out was always the last stop before Grandmas! (but not this trip...it was too late)

7) Ahhh...Grandmas!  We would pull in and all of the familiar sounds and smells would come flooding back.  It really is a home away from home. I don't think I can put into words how being at my grandparents place makes me feel.  It's always warm and cozy feeling, and not because of the temperature but because of the love of my family.  Here are just a couple pics from there.

This was my Grandpa's sign.  I though it was a cool shot.

I'm Picking at night...yeah, it's hard to pick grapefruit with a flashlight under your arm

I Love Southern California!  It makes me feel like I'm safe.  And it's always hard to say goodbye to family down there.  Here's one final shot of Mt. Shasta from the Weed rest area...another must stop. :-)

Do you have a place that you like to go that always brings back wonderful memories? Where?